One thing I'm learning from my Happiness Project is that being happy is normally not about doing what I
think will make me happy. Counter-intuitive, right?
Here is the thing...in the moment I
never feel like doing my 30 minutes of cardio, my 15 minute evening clean up, or my 1 minute "just do it" chore.
But I know doing these things will make me happy. And a lot of times when I am done my cardio - I don't immediately feel happy. I feel sweaty and gross and like I need another shower. Blah.
But since starting the project - yes, I am happier on a day to day basis. Because when I start worrying that sitting at a desk all day is going to hurt my health I remember that I'm on it and the worry disappears. When I get up in the morning it's less stressful to get out of the house because I know where my keys are. I've even started to notice that my morning
feels much longer on days when I've done these things. I often wonder if I accidentally got up a half an hour early because by the time I've finished making my cup of coffee (my last task before dashing off to work) I look up at the clock and realize I still have 20 minutes to get out the door.
I read an article in the Harvard Business Review (nooooooo I don't normally read it, but the cover caught my eye at Barnes and Nobel) interviewing the scientist Daniel Gilbert on his findings in a recent happiness study. He found that very few experiences affect people for more than three months and they rarely have the affect we anticipate.
So, ok in two months when I start to worry about sitting at my desk all day, I'll probably have to tweak my eating habits in order to stop worrying. That's really not the end of the world.
But here is what's better; Gilbert's findings apply to negative evens too. So not making enough Etsy sales, getting enough readers/sponsors on my blog, or any other "failure" in my life is not likely to have an affect on my happiness for more than 3 months. And-no matter what-my reactions to these events aren't likely to be as severe as expected.
Yeah I raised by eyebrows when I read this. Then I tried to think of examples from my own life. I remembered the month leading up to my college graduation which was hellish. At the time I thought I would be so much less stressed when I was done trying to edit 50 pages of original fiction, work 30 hours a week, and plan for "the next step" all at the same time. In truth, graduation was surreal. I wasn't as happy as I thought I should be, and when it was all over I found new things to stress about even if I had significantly less going on day to day.
But three months later (August 2010) graduation already felt years behind me.
Here is my take away...my expectations for my future happiness or unhappiness are just guesses. Cardio will suck, but not as much as I think it will in the 5 minutes it takes me to get on the stupid machine. And not for as long as I think it will. In the end, it actually will make me happier and probably for much longer then it initially made me unhappy. [I am really trying to talk myself into my cardio, can you tell?]
Have your achievements ever made you less happy then you thought they would? Have you survived challenges with less discomfort then you thought possible?
And please, does anyone enjoy cardio? HOW DO YOU DO IT?