If we had a coffee date today I’d tell you I’m feeling better. I still can’t put my finger on what it was about before that made things feel off. I don’t really know when before started and when it ended so I can’t blame a specific event. But I was feeling...off. And now I’m not. I’m feeling different, like my perspective shifted just a hair. I like this new place my heart has settled into, but it’s not familiar yet.
I would tell you that even though things are getting a little scary right now, even though my contract ends soon and I have no idea if it will be extended, I’m excited. I took a good hard look at my life last week and realized even if I lose my job, I haven’t hit the bottom. That I really have made so much progress in the last two years, even if I’m not where I expected to be.
I’m focusing on all the opportunities in my life right now, instead of being paralyzed by fear of all the things that might go wrong and all the variables in my life that I cannot control.
I’d tell you that I’m loosening my grip on the image I’ve had in my head of who I should be. It’s freeing and scary.
I’d tell you that my vacation is next month and I still haven’t made all of my hotel reservations.
I’d tell you the table is nearly done, but that this is the stage where I’m most likely to fail. Leaving the last details perpetually unfinished.
I haven’t picked up a crochet hook in over a week. Maybe two weeks? But, I’ve finished two books and am reading two more.
I’d ask you how you are feeling and if you’re reading anything special. I wonder if your motivation is high, or low, or somewhere in the middle.
I’d love to hear all of your fun summer plans, how your family is doing, what’s making you happiest these days.
I’m glad we can share a cup of coffee, I always leave feeling happier.